I went to the graduation ceremony at my alma mater, the University of Chicago, this afternoon. After stuffing my face with fru-fru finger foods and champagne, I was ready to mingle...The first target was the Professors. I lied to them. I told them that their teaching was highly useful for my job; that I applied their wisdom everyday at work. Then I told them that I worked as a janitor at Goldman Sachs.
The second target was the recent grads. I told them dismal stories on how most of the recent alums were jobless, fat, had bad skin, and were contemplating suicide. I also told them that I hold on to my job because I smooched my boss' left buttcheek in the morning and the right one in the evening.
The third target was the alums. I told them to tell the same dismal stories to the recent grads.
2 comments:
This is apropos of nothing, but I grew up at Disneyland, and used to enjoy boarding the submarine with a dozen friends and chanting, just before the tape would say it, "Uh, oh-- a giant squid! Theeese evil creatures can change color at will."
Watch out for karma, it's a b----.
See, if you would've gone to harvard, you wouldn't have this sad story to tell!
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