The proverbial butterfly flaps its wings in the jungle of Amazon and caused a hurricane in my bedroom. Yes, I had taken a 6-month hiatus from blogging for a very noble reason; my ass is very happy, my skin has never been better and my tush never looked better in that 29" waist low-rise Zara pants.
Ladies & Gentlemen, about 6 months ago I met my boyfriend; Mr. Straight Mo (aka Mr. S'mo). Now, what makes Mr. S'mo special? Yes, at 6'3", he met the minimum height requirement for many occupations other than the circus midget. His britesmile cute face caused him to receive labial attacks from me. His gorgeous George Hamilton tan made me stripped him because I wanted to see his non-existent tan lines (apparently he basked nude). On top of that, Mr. Straight Mo is 3 years younger than me. Now, if you add calcium, that's just a winning combo.
Was it his physical appearance that made me fallen madly in love? I had to say that it helped. But - just like any other born-again man in love - I had to say that his personality played a much bigger role.
So why am I head over heels for his gestalt? After counseling my fagnets, I came to a conclusion that Mr. Straight Mo is the straightest-acting homo in the Chicagoland area.
How so:
Evidence #1
On my first visit to his place, he kept all the light off, saying that it would be the only way to enjoy the beautiful sight of the fullmoon over the lake. Indeed his place has an unobstructed view of Lake Michigan. We made out, stripped and consummated. I fell asleep in his bed.
In the morning I realized the real reason for his keeping the light off.... his place was just like a shipwreck after being ransacked by a bunch of diarrhetic pirates. I woke up realizing that the pillow I used didn't have any pilow case and it had brown stains. Panic, I ran around looking for Purrell. I had to settle on anti-bacterial handwash on my face.
Evidence #2
His voice! It might be true that deep husky voice is a sign of masculinity. Research said testosterone level dictates the formation of your vocal cord during pre-pubescent years. Well, Mr. Straight Mo's voice is deeper and huskier than James Earl Jones'. After dating Mr. Straight Mo, I often have naughty dreams involving Darth Vader; just because their voices are similar.
Evidence #3
His hobby! When was the last time you met a gay man whose favorite past time activity is fishing? I mean, most of my gay friends cannot stop saying "eww" when they leave the city limit.. many would faint and instantaneously combust in pink flames at the sight of a live fish.
Mr. Straight Mo is completely different. He took me fishing three times. We caught walleyes, carps and basses; big enough they could make any size queen happy. Next week, he will go fishing in the wilderness of the the Boundary Waters for 10 days
I guess I am attracted to his straight qualities.
But despite his straightness, Mr. Straight Mo is blessed with the cutest gay qualities. On my birthday, he whisked me to a vacation house in the mountain where he pampered me with gourmet food, spa treatment and good quality doobies straight from an underground hydroponic farm in Oregon. While semi high, I caught a 2 feet long walleye. On occassions, I would find cymbidium orchids in my living room.
So, am I getting the best of both worlds?
I think so.... :-)
Ladies & Gentlemen, about 6 months ago I met my boyfriend; Mr. Straight Mo (aka Mr. S'mo). Now, what makes Mr. S'mo special? Yes, at 6'3", he met the minimum height requirement for many occupations other than the circus midget. His britesmile cute face caused him to receive labial attacks from me. His gorgeous George Hamilton tan made me stripped him because I wanted to see his non-existent tan lines (apparently he basked nude). On top of that, Mr. Straight Mo is 3 years younger than me. Now, if you add calcium, that's just a winning combo.
Was it his physical appearance that made me fallen madly in love? I had to say that it helped. But - just like any other born-again man in love - I had to say that his personality played a much bigger role.
So why am I head over heels for his gestalt? After counseling my fagnets, I came to a conclusion that Mr. Straight Mo is the straightest-acting homo in the Chicagoland area.
How so:
Evidence #1
On my first visit to his place, he kept all the light off, saying that it would be the only way to enjoy the beautiful sight of the fullmoon over the lake. Indeed his place has an unobstructed view of Lake Michigan. We made out, stripped and consummated. I fell asleep in his bed.
In the morning I realized the real reason for his keeping the light off.... his place was just like a shipwreck after being ransacked by a bunch of diarrhetic pirates. I woke up realizing that the pillow I used didn't have any pilow case and it had brown stains. Panic, I ran around looking for Purrell. I had to settle on anti-bacterial handwash on my face.
Evidence #2
His voice! It might be true that deep husky voice is a sign of masculinity. Research said testosterone level dictates the formation of your vocal cord during pre-pubescent years. Well, Mr. Straight Mo's voice is deeper and huskier than James Earl Jones'. After dating Mr. Straight Mo, I often have naughty dreams involving Darth Vader; just because their voices are similar.Evidence #3
His hobby! When was the last time you met a gay man whose favorite past time activity is fishing? I mean, most of my gay friends cannot stop saying "eww" when they leave the city limit.. many would faint and instantaneously combust in pink flames at the sight of a live fish.
Mr. Straight Mo is completely different. He took me fishing three times. We caught walleyes, carps and basses; big enough they could make any size queen happy. Next week, he will go fishing in the wilderness of the the Boundary Waters for 10 days
I guess I am attracted to his straight qualities.
But despite his straightness, Mr. Straight Mo is blessed with the cutest gay qualities. On my birthday, he whisked me to a vacation house in the mountain where he pampered me with gourmet food, spa treatment and good quality doobies straight from an underground hydroponic farm in Oregon. While semi high, I caught a 2 feet long walleye. On occassions, I would find cymbidium orchids in my living room.
So, am I getting the best of both worlds?
I think so.... :-)
2 comments:
glad to hear you are happy! let's hang some time soone!
go_wade_in
Yes Go, I haven't seen you in AGES!
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